Well, that's not exactly what I'd call the man who tailed me this afternoon, it's a long story, so he we go:
Let me start from the beginning. A couple of days ago, I wrote this blog entry An Answer for the Unanswered. Well, I was pretty vague on why I was thinking about the "why" of things. I unfortunately have to continue to be vague, because there are somethings that I just can not share with the whole world. All I can say is, that Aaron has been striving really hard to attain something, and that something did not work out for him recently. It was a real disappointment. That got me thinking about the "why" things in life. "Why" didn't this work out for him, and for our family?
So today, I decided to go for a short drive. I thought I'd go to Heavenly Father in prayer, and try to make sense of everything that was on my mind. I pulled over and decided to pray. I felt close to him and felt that he loved me, and I told him that I'm trying so hard to put my faith in him, that he knows best, because quite frankly-- Aaron and I are trying to figure out where our lives are headed.
I got back on the road, with tears rolling down my cheeks. I came to the main road, and turn onto it. I felt I had allowed adequate room, but evidently the driver behind me (that was bearing down on me) did not. He then proceeded to tail me as close as he possibly could, so I would notice just how horrible I was for pulling out when I did. I pretended to ignore him. I guess he didn't like that, so he passed me, and then cut in front of me, all the while holding his middle finger up with great emphasis! He then held his hand to his head, pretending to pull the trigger. Was he trying to tell me I should kill myself, or was he threatening me? I still can't figure that one out, but it was weird.
The whole time I was thinking, dude, I'm in the middle of saying my prayers, tears are still streaming down my face, and you have no idea (not that he'd care anyways). I actually felt sorry for him.
3 comments:
What a horrible thing for someone to do! I'm so sorry that things are difficult right now and that you and Aaron have been disappointed. Despite that, I am glad to hear that you are feeling Heavenly Father's love in your life.
i agree with rebecca: it's such a blessing (and a gift, i've come to realize) to be able to feel the love of the Lord daily in your life. as long as you know that much, you will always feel like things are happening as they should be, disappointing and confusing or not.
happy first day of school tomorrow!!
When I run into road ragers like that I think, "Man, it must really stink to be you and have a life so messed up that you'll be that out of control over something so small." I mean seriously how fun would it be to live life when you are getting that worked up over such stupid things. I think you were right to feel sorry for him. I'm sure you were not the only recipient of his issues that day. Sorry you had the misfortune of being one of them though. I'm glad you're in touch enough that you recognized it and didn't let it bring you down.
P.S. I've learned that if you have a "crazy" driving behind you when they pass you it's most effective to look the other way so you don't see them. Then if they do something like that you'll never know so it won't bug you and hopefully they'll see you're not looking. I'd imagine when your goal is to make someone feel bad and they don't look at you so you can't, it's a little frustrating. ;) lol
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